Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Soon to be Sophia

Any day now I will become a father to a girl. It is probably one of the first times, in a long time, that I am out of control in the fullest sense. When she arrives is out of my hands, how she arrives is out of my hands. In a world of instant information and "knowledge" of everything; we can't schedule the birth of a child. It happens when it happens. The simplicity of this is both exhilarating and distressing; as it seemingly undermines our modern way of life.


Anonymous said...

As the mom of little Sophia, I can't agree more. Waiting is not something any of us do well anymore. It's the voluntarily unlearned skill of our generation.

And yes, it seems as though it's completely non-PC to admit that one is scared of the whole birth and becoming a partent business. The anticipation, fears, and doubts are straining on both mom and dads-to-be. So here, I'm not afraid to admit it: I'm scared of the whole birthing business and becoming a parent.

An why the hell is society trying to convince us that having such feelings makes us wussies or even unworthy of the experience? I think having fears and doubts might not be the worst way to approach it given all those folks who wonder into parenthood thinking they'll be living the American Dream.

Fact is, fears and doubts don't preclude us from being thrilled, excited, and happy.

mutti said...

The waiting is over! Sophia is now here and all the fears, doubts and unknowns around the birth process have been dispersed with the joy and awe at this new person who is in your lives. However, the doubts will continue, just channeled toward different issues and decisions. The fear will be a constant part of the process, unfortunately she has entered a big world with so much to face that is beyond anyone's control.

But I have watched you this year as you faced so much, but neither of you gave in to the medical mantra and statistics. I watched you unite, research and make decisions that were in the best interest of your unborn child. I have viewed the evolution as you both moved forward, challenging a world that thinks it has all the answers, and posing new questions that required the establishment to reevaluate (if only for a moment) the assumptions and parameters that are stated for parents to be.

I have listened as you heard the negatives, the horror stories, had your own moments of doubt and watched as it all made you both stronger and even more resolute to research, discuss and make your own decisions, to chart the journey and then let go knowing that the final path would design itself and you were along for the ride!

So I trust that you will both face the world with Sophia in your arms with the same sense of balance that you have shown thus far. Control as needed to protect and direct, but the wisdom to let Sophia emerge as an individual.

The only advice that this loving old woman can offer:

There is no such thing as the "American Dream", there is only your dream and if it is right for you have the courage to live it without regard for the outside voices that think they know what is "best".

Know that I have the utmost respect for all that you two have done. I trust that your future will be a magical adventure filled with challenges faced, moments to cherish and love for each other.